i think what acil said was true....when u reach 20 u started to think bout urself a lot...that is scary...cuz the new me since i entered the new environment was no longer a strict n strong girl...i tend to forget most of the things that i dont wanna think of...cuz the old me was holding a lot or grudge which i still keep it til now...saya masih lagi seorang PENDENDAM!! but not worse than last time...now im kinda confuse which 1 is better?? the old me or the me now?? those people who really know me they know how m i last time....u know why i love my friends so much?? they r my precious more than my family...it is not that i dont love my family...but when i have probs,need some1 to share,hanging out with them...my friends r totally different compare to my bf...it is not that my bf isnt good...nobody is perfect anyway...but for certain reasons i need my friends....to those who value their friends surely know what m i trying to say...neither my parents....their life certainly different to my life...if parents is the best choice to keep as a bestfriend,then why do we need friends or diaries or maybe our pets?? oh!! forgot!! blogs!!! hehehe... last year or should i say last month i went to gayle's hse to visit her since she cant go out to anywhere that day...we talked a lot of things...there's 1 thing that we talked made me tears...i still remember the phrase she said "u have to b a risk taker cuz im not gonna b by ur side like we used to...where does the strong vivian that i know goes??" i realize bout this thing..but i ignore it...when i said im over it actually some of them im not...i cry in silence most of my times...why does the future is so unpredictable...why is the life have to b like this?? why cant it b like in the fairy tales?? i used to b so excited to grow faster...experincing the new environments...years gone by im getting so scared...i feel like im so weak to go any further...im not over with most of the things!!! hopefully it will get better this year...
(i have class tomorrow!!! n im still fucking SICK!!! shit!!!)
