Princess's Stories

Father's Day was 2 days ago n til now i haven't wish him yet...i feel sad bout that but i really don't know what makes me from doing it..It is not that i don't love him or hate him...i do love my dad so much...who doesn't??!! I really wanna wish my dad,wanna tell him that he is the greatest dad i ever have,wanna hug him,wanna feel the love...don't get me wrong...i didn't mean that my dad doesn't love me...he do love me so much since I'm the eldest n yes he do love all his children...he misses his children every second..believe me or not..when he's still working, everytime he reached his office he'll definitely will call us if we're at home just to hear our voice..imagine that....

Until now this feeling really bothers me...a lot!
 
Let me tell u something that me n my dad have in common...
1. Egoist...this is a gift my dad gave it to me since i was born....when he thinks he is right even though he isn't,nobody will change his mind/words...same goes to me but I'm slightly different...for example,when my dad thinks that I'm wrong which I think I'm not n i should apologize,don't even bother to hear "I'm sorry" from me even though they are my parents..but usually he will force me to say it...so,I did say "I'm sorry" but i hold my anger...i keep it myself which i know it'll turn into something bad someday...that is what i do...what else i can do?! He's the boss... This is 1 thing that i realize that keeps me apart from my dad day by day....
2. Hard-headed... When I want something which I know I can get it,I really gonna get it no matter what...same goes to him....but mostly I don't get them by asking him...I have to work my ass off to get what I want even though i didn't get the approval from him or it might takes a long period for me to archive....I'm so envy with my siblings when they get what they want...they only have to ask..that's it...easy peasy..back to my time,when I ask I usually get a negative answer...he throw me with lots of excuses...common excuse-financial problem...but what I see now we do facing some financial problems but still they get what they want especially my little brother...don't bullshit me that is because he is the only boy or he is the youngest...he told me that he love me the most but why I always get the less n more hardship??!! In my understanding that every human has a brain for them to think...no matter how old n what gender are u,u still have the ability to think...! So,back to the main point,when I want that n I'm truly believe on it,I'm gonna get it in any cost...

As i grow older, I'm like running away from my dad...but everytime i see my dad i cry in my heart which I really miss him so much...

Now what I do is that I'm gonna prove to him that i can get the life that I want by myself...without his guidance...without his support from my back...all by myself...I don't care if I'm being thrown to hell someday...I want him to know that I'm his daughter...who I am today is his creation....good or bad result is still his artwork since he is the creator + the leader in the family n nobody can object his every single word...

I still keep every moments,words,anger,hurt,etc. that he did which haunted me everytime...but I keep it in a special place...don't worry...

gtg....he's awake now.....nite n morning...